she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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