OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
MIDGETS
????
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
