I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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