hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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