Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
