Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He better not be in your backpack
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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