even my farts smell like vagina
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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