New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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