i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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