the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
