In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
