omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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