You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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