is your mom at the bar?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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