It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
