I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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