I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
