I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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