If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
