I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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