I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We have started to decorate penises.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
