Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
