are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
