the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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