We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
