I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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