You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
