Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
