so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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