butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
