I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
