Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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