You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
