are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
