i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
