Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
