just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
