So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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