i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
