fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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