Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
