The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
