Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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