i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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