Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
