how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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