i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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