somebody snuck up and got me drunk
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
