She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
