You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
