First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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